Mostly Music
domingo, março 31
Recent advances in the Study of Sound Wave Interference in Sexual behavior
According to recent studies by the acoustics department at the University of Seil, in Munchaus, Germany, the sound waves produced by a flute can naturally and inherently create an effect that had not been identified until now. This singular effect can be described in simple language as an enhancement of the psycho-physiological capacity for long-term sexual intercourse, through the expansion of both feminine and masculine resilience. According to the Chilean specialist in human sexuality, Dr. Raila Maios, who has been researching on the short-range influence of wind instrument sound waves on sexual responses, this extraordinary effect has been known since antiquity, and it is no mere coincidence that the mythological god Pan, a satyr, played the flute. That is also the reason why this instrument has long been associated with sexual potency in all human cultures. For the appropriate testing of her theory Dr. Maios has created a resonance chamber, which amplifies sound modules to demonstrate how audio, when appropriately applied, enhances the usability and functionality of an application.
Since physics essentially describes and quantifies the dynamic nature of elements around us, a physics experimental system should somehow capture the dynamics of physics. The sound module of the Seil Physics Education Laboratory relies heavily on voluntary flutists to achieve this goal. The intent is to continually remind the scientists that physics’ concepts represent live, active entities in the real world. Furthermore, six topic areas have already been effectively identified as primary to explain the sequence of elements that cause the phenomena: sound wave length, speed of sound, displacement and pressure variations in sound waves, sound intensity and decibel levels, and Doppler effect applied to sound.
One objective of the sound wave module is to supply as much user interaction as possible. It is the belief of this specialist that research is best served when musicians are allowed to explore and experiment with concepts rather than having them consume information in a dry, static manner. For example, if a physics law is presented, the researcher and his subject should be free to test the variables or parameters of the physics law to observe how the variables affect the results. Furthermore, demonstrations should also resemble or reflect real-world situations to orient the scientists in the context of a familiar or intuitive setting.
Dr. Xaoh Meti, Dr. Maios’ assistant, declared that the only problem with this revolutionary idea has been that the musicians invited to take part in the experiment don’t want to leave the chamber, where they play Gluck’s “Dance of the blessed spirits” uninterruptedly and only made insignificant rests in order to wait for the physical orgasmic spasms to subside.
Quoted from the International Refereed Journal of the International Institute of Acoustics and Vibration (IIAV)
quinta-feira, março 28
quarta-feira, março 27
I just got this, and thought it was funny!
This letter has been around the world at least seven times. It has been to many major conferences. Now it has come to you. It will bring you good fortune. This is true even if you don't believe it. But you must follow these instructions:
Include in your next journal article the citations below.
Remove the first citation from the list and add a citation to your journal article at the bottom.
Make ten copies and send them to colleagues.
Within one year, you will be cited up to 10,000 times! This will amaze your fellow faculty, assure your promotion, and improve your sex life. In addition, you will bring joy to many colleagues. Do not break the reference loop, but send this letter on today.
Dr. H. received this letter and within a year after passing it on she was elected to the National Academy of Sciences. Prof. M. threw this letter away and was denied tenure.
In Japan, Dr. I. received this letter and put it aside. His article for Trans. on Nephrology was rejected. He found the letter and passed it on, and his article was published that year in the New England Journal of Medicine.
In the Midwest, Prof. K. failed to pass on the letter, and in a budget cutback his entire department was eliminated. This could happen to you if you break the chain of citations.
1. Miller, J. (1992). Post-modern neo-cubism and the wave theory of light. Journal of Cognitive Artifacts, 8, 113-117.
2. Johnson, S. (1991). Micturition in the canid family: the irresistable pull of the hydrant. Physics Quarterly, 33, 203-220.
3. Anderson, R. (1990). Your place or mine?: an empirical comparison of two models of human mating behavior. Psychology Yesterday 12, 63-77.
4. David, E. (1994). Modern Approaches to Chaotic Heuristic Optimization: Means of Analyzing Non-Linear Intelligent Networks with Emergent Symbolic Structure. (doctoral dissertation, University of California at Santa Royale El Camino del Rey Mar Vista by-the-sea.)
sexta-feira, março 22
A FLUTE FOR CHARLES
Some 10, 15 years ago I saw a talk-show, and one of the attractions was particularly interesting to me. It was a teenage boy who played a very crudely made flute, one that he had made himself, out of a piece of plastic pipe. He was discovered in a street corner, in a group with his brothers, who played guitar, tambourine, some other percussion instruments...
The thing was, he was an extraordinary talent, he could play choros really fast and he could improvise very well. He became a minor celebrity, and there was talk of sending him to France (to a conservatory in Paris), or to Russia, or to USA. I thought to myself, then: what a crazy thing to do, to take this boy from the streets, separate him from his family, send him to a place where he will be utterly lost, utterly alien.
Charles went on to receive the Sharp Music award (in 1988) and a medal from UNICEF. He performed in England, France, Germany, Holland.
I don't know whether he ever reached Russia or whether he ever got to study in the Paris Conservatory. But I do know where he is now: In jail.
In jail? Yes, Charles Pereira Gonçalves was imprisoned two years ago, and will stay in jail for 17 more years. I don't know what his crime was. He is now aged 29.
I got an e-mail from a friend in SP, telling me this part of the story and asking for a donation. What kind of donation? A flute for Charles, so he can play in jail. He also wants to teach music to his cell-mates.
What a strange, sad tale!
By the way, if you want to help, you can get in touch with Daniel Beltrão, e-mail danibeltrao@uol.com.br . Or you can also write to Escola Municipal de Música: R. Vergueiro, 961, Aclimação, SP 01504-001, Tel.: 11 3209 6580, or through e-mail apaemm@uol.com.br .
domingo, março 17
I am the Wind
I AM the wind that wavers,
You are the certain land;
I am the shadow that passes
Over the sand.
I am the leaf that quivers,
You, the unshaken tree;
You are the stars that are steadfast,
I am the sea.
You are the light eternal--
Like a torch I shall die.
You are the surge of deep music,
I but a cry!
Zoë Akins (1886 - ? )
segunda-feira, março 11
Hi readers, I will be away for a while. I won't be able to type for a few days, because my wrist is hurt, and the doctor said I must keep it still. But I promise to be back as soon as possible, I really miss bloging...
sábado, março 9
A Very Short Song
Once, when I was young and true,
Someone left me sad-
Broke my brittle heart in two;
And that is very bad.
Love is for unlucky folk,
Love is but a curse.
Once there was a heart I broke;
And that, I think, is worse.
Dorothy Parker
quarta-feira, março 6
Recollection (1892)
HOW can it be that I forget
The way he phrased my doom,
When I recall the arabesques
That carpeted the room?
How can it be that I forget
His look and mien that hour,
When I recall I wore a rose,
And still can smell the flower?
How can it be that I forget
Those words that were his last,
When I recall the tune a man
Was whistling as he passed?
These things are what we keep from life's
Supremest joy or pain;
For memory locks her chaff in bins
And throws away the grain.
Anne Reeve Aldrich
terça-feira, março 5
Archiboldus and Hermengarda
If you haven’t seen the Forest of the Enchanted Lake, you’ve really been missing something; you don’t know what really big, beautiful virgin forest is like. The forest floor is the softest moss. If it weren’t for the dry leaves, which could be hiding a little snake, you could walk around it as much as you like, barefoot. The trees are enormous, and centuries old, and most of them are hardwoods: jacarandá, pequiás, ipês, pepper trees, and many more that even I don’t know the names of. Their trunks are full of bromeliads and orchids. Among the branches live thousands of little birds, squirrels and monkey. There are butterflies and dragonflies…and even some mosquitos when it has been rainy. But seeing such a beautiful place is worth a mosquito bite or two.
Deep in the forest there is a mirror of greenish blue water. That is the enchanted lake. Its waters are as pure as can be. By the shore the sandy bottom, bright and clean, is visible through the crystalline water. But out in the middle the bottom can no longer be seen. People say that it is a bottomless lake that goes all the way to the center of the earth, but that’s not true, of course. It must be only about one hundred and fifty or two hundred feet deep. The waters of the lake come from the Golden River, which enters at the upper shore, and leaves by the lower shore, in search of the sea.
continues here
Crystal
from the Portuguese of Dona Nora
In the garden of the Queen of the Fairies, there were many trees and flowers; many little birds, the kind that sing beautifully; and there were fireflies, dragonflies and butterflies as well. All in order to spread music and sweet smells through the air, and to adorn the garden, which was supposed to be the prettiest garden in the whole world.
Among the butterflies, there was one, the Queen’s favorite, who, if you looked at her closely, was not really a butterfly, but a tiny little fairy with big bright colorful wings. Her body was just the size of Manoela’s little finger, and just perfect. She looked like a little Barbie.
The little fairy, whose name was Crystal, was happy, good, and obedient, just like every fairy ought to be, but she had to be even more obedient than the others, because she was so small that she had to be careful all the time.
continues here
domingo, março 3
Where have all the comments gone? I hate this! I feel like not ever posting anything again. I would love to have you try to convince me otherwise. But how can you, with no "comments" available?
MY VOICE
WITHIN this restless, hurried, modern world
We took our hearts’ full pleasure—You and I,
And now the white sails of our ship are furled,
And spent the lading of our argosy.
Wherefore my cheeks before their time are wan,
For very weeping is my gladness fled,
Sorrow hath paled my lip’s vermilion,
And Ruin draws the curtains of my bed.
But all this crowded life has been to thee
No more than lyre, or lute, or subtle spell
Of viols, or the music of the sea
That sleeps, a mimic echo, in the shell
Oscar Wilde (1854–1900).
